On Friends with Trauma
Lots of people in my circle or that I allow into my life from time to time have been traumatized one way or another by life. And it's weird to see it happen.
The years go by, one day we are both innocent children, but perhaps one of us isn't so innocent.
Perhaps that innocence has been taken from us at a young age by those who should have protected us from the evil in the world. And sometimes, the evil that exists is in our own homes. What is supposed to be our safe haven becomes our living hell.
Years go by and, when you meet your friend again they're completely different as people.
By assaults, drugs, and just life in general.
And I can't help but feel hopeless because I want to help the person that I know is inherently good but has been beaten down by life.
I want them to know that they have someone, that they're really strong for putting up with everything they have gone through and still living. That they can find solace in a friend.
Recently, I found out that one of my neighbors when I was growing up is pregnant, we used to go to the same school.
I congratulated her about her pregnancy, but I felt it wasn't correct to simply move on with my day after.
She has been through it all in those short years after high school. And although we're very different people, at our core we are not that different at all.
She always accepted me into her circle despite our quite obvious differences in upbringing. She was always incredibly kind and welcoming.
I was planning on quietly sending her a box of goodies for her pregnancy to help her with it all. But I feel guilty for not doing more. I wish I could be there for her to help her with her children, to be part of her tribe but she lives two hours away from me.
And all of this has me thinking...
I am incredibly blessed. My family is supportive and I have never been abused by my own family or anyone else, and I have never had the displeasure of going through traumatic events that most people do go through.
Sure, life happens, but my life has been tepid, and most importantly safe.
I am intact, my soul is not broken, and most importantly it is not hardened by hatred after trauma.
But many people that go through life struggle brcause life beat them down at some point.
And that added work of getting back up, I see what it does to them, but it's so much better to get back up than to give up entirely.